Coming and going

So, I have returned from yet another trip to Sufflok, and a narrow brush with the Secretary of State. (Last time it was the Joint Chiefs) and am currently packing to head for my parent's lake house where my wife and I will celebrate our second anniversary. This almost didin't happen on time, as originally, I was supposed to be in Suffolk this week as well. But as evidenced by the current week, I was unable to really do my work in that particular environment, and so I got to go home. (Thanks to sense being spoken by my Software lead.)

But for a moment I will address the subject of absences and gender differences in perception. (I'm sure you can't imagine why this may have come up.) The major issue is that my wife is always very upset when we are separated, and is made more upset by the fact that I don't seem to be as badly affected. In fact, I almost seem to enjoy my time apart. Well, let me attempt to break it down for you.

Men, always have their cave. In many homes, it is their workroom (where the tools are, often the garage) or the bathroom, because their wives insist on the rest of the house looking nice (read: feminine) which honestly, is quite sensible of them. But it leads to the male in the relationship feeling that they have no nice places to be themselves.

Men are not entirely themselves when with their SO, and despite any protestrations to the contrary, women are wuch happier that this is the case. Men don't strive to be crude, but we seem to do a good job of it when left to our own devices. Bottling this up all the time, (except when in our caves) tends to lead to a desire to be alone for awhile to be the pure male we remember being. So, when there is physical separation (say a three hour car ride to name one completely at random) for a time, the man is torn. He truely does miss his wife (or SO), but he also revels in the temporary freedom to be what he remembers being. And let's be clear, he doesn't desire to stay that way (well, this isn't always true, but assuming he's happy in his relationship) but he want's that ability to let out the pressure he's built up.

This is why guys invented Boy's Night. (which women have copied in an attempt to prove they can do anything we can) The name is quite telling. We want a chance to be boys again. Something our wives just see the need for. Boy's night, exiles women for a night so the boys can do all the stupid things they want, and then (and this is important) they can return home and be a man again.

Now, I personally have been away from home quite often enough in the last 5 months, and could do with some time at home (we like being alone at home even more than alone on the road BTW) and with my wife. But I'm going away next weekend, and she's going away at the end of the month. We'll spend as much time together in the intervening time as we can and when she goes away, I'm sure I'll still enjoy being released to be a boy again, but I'll have a hell of a time falling asleep in our empty bed.